RE: RE: UNCUT ORACLE-L The Motion Picture

That
was too funny and too creative!:)
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  size=2>-----Original Message-----From: root_at_fatcity.com   [mailto:root_at_fatcity.com]On Behalf Of Mohan, RossSent:   Tuesday, August 14, 2001 12:45 PMTo: Multiple recipients of list   ORACLE-LSubject: RE: RE: UNCUT ORACLE-L The Motion   Picture
  btw,
  Can I meet this "rouge" college intern before Lisa machetes   her?
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  I
  want to justify the NC-17 rating.
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  -
  Hannibal   

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    size=2>-----Original Message-----From: Bowes, Chris     [mailto:Chris.Bowes_at_kosa.com]Sent: Tuesday, August 14, 2001 10:47     AMTo: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-LSubject: OT:     RE: UNCUT ORACLE-L The Motion Picture     UNCUT ORACLE-L <FONT

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    Coming to theaters near you.   Oracle-L, the UNCUT     version is rated NC-17.
    Directed by Bruce. Produced by Jared     Still.
    Starring:
    Lisa Koivu.  Watch as she machetes a user who left his     userid and password on a post-it on his PC allowing a rouge college intern     to hack the system and destroy data.
/Clip Lisa: "YOU'VE USED THAT

    PASSWORD FOR THE LAST TIME MISTER!!!!",  User: "NOooooooooooooo!"      Hack hack slice slice  Lisa: "Now where's that intern..."
/Clip

    Ross Mohan as her feisty sidekick. (envision Joe     Pesci) /Clip "Nice Cutting
    Lisa.  So l-user, is it funny now?  Does she make you laugh?      Like a clown?  Looks like we'll have to rewrite that song.  'The     ankle bone's connected to the spinal cord...'"
/Clip

    Rachel Carmichel, as the goddess of manager destruction.     Watch as she stuffs a chair down the throat of a manager for his really     stupid ideas.
/Clip Manager:  "But Rachel,

    don't you think that we could eliminate that 450g worth of data and save a     lot of money in training, dba costs and license fees if we converted     everything to Excel Spreadsheets?  Why are you looking at me like     that?  No, now put down that chair that could be an OHSA     recordable.  Open Wide?  Oh, you silly.  I've already had     brunch with the steering committee.  That's where this excellent excel     idea came from.  We can do this right?  I figure 450 g isn't that     much is it?  All we have to do is get some PC's and a couple     secretaries and...  No, back away.  Noooooooo."  Stuff, cram,     cram.
/Clip

    Eric Pierce as Master Po giver of infinite knowledge.
/Clip "Grasshopper.  You will

    find all you need at these links." /Clip     Director Jared Still, in a special appearance.  He     dispatches another developer for bad locking practices: <FONT     size=2>/Clip "Six table locks?  For a three     table select?  I asked for code and you bring me this.  What have     I done to deserve this disrespect.    To the acid baths with     him..."
/Clip

    Christopher Bowes as the thoroughly confused rookie:
/Clip: "HELP!...  Am I an

    idiot?  Well, no I don't think so. What's an idiot?   RTFM?     What's an RTFM?  Read the what?  What's a concepts manual.      What's a concept?  That's nice, but what is a database?  I've got     to build one for my boss today.  I told him I would and my performance     review is at 3pm...  Is 15 minutes enough time to build a 40 terabyte     base?  But I thought DBA's did nothing but get in the way of us     developers...  What's a tablespace?  What's a table"
/Clip

    Other special appearances by Steve Adams, Christopher     Spence, Joe Testa and lots of others from the Oracle-L.  See them all     as you've never seen them before.
    See Oracle-L, the UNCUT version.  Coming this     fall.
    Sorry, folks, slow day... Received on Tue Aug 14 2001 - 12:01:18 CDT