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ROFL!!!! But, really....why do I have to be Joe Pesci? I really must cut down on my delivery speed...<sigh>.....
Oh well...reminds me of my first shamanic journey to the middle world....turns out my power animal was a squirrel.
A friggin' squirrel.
LoL....
Ah well, I am an oracle dba...I *do* have to compensate....
Ross
p.s. It's Dedekind Cut. He was brilliant....wow.....
-----Original Message-----
Sent: Tuesday, August 14, 2001 11:10 AM
To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
The unkindest uncut of all - the Dedican uncut.
LOL
"Bowes, Chris" To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L <Chris.Bowes@ <ORACLE-L_at_fatcity.com> kosa.com> cc: Sent by: Subject: OT: RE: UNCUT ORACLE-L The Motion root_at_fatcity. Picture com 08/14/2001 10:47 AM Please respond to ORACLE-L
UNCUT ORACLE-L
Coming to theaters near you. Oracle-L, the UNCUT version is rated NC-17.
Directed by Bruce.
Produced by Jared Still.
Starring:
Lisa Koivu. Watch as she machetes a user who left his userid and password on a post-it on his PC allowing a rouge college intern to hack the system and destroy data.
/Clip
Lisa: "YOU'VE USED THAT PASSWORD FOR THE LAST TIME MISTER!!!!", User:
"NOooooooooooooo!" Hack hack slice slice Lisa: "Now where's that
intern..."
/Clip
Ross Mohan as her feisty sidekick. (envision Joe Pesci)
/Clip
"Nice Cutting Lisa. So l-user, is it funny now? Does she make you laugh?
Like a clown? Looks like we'll have to rewrite that song. 'The ankle
bone's connected to the spinal cord...'"
/Clip
Rachel Carmichel, as the goddess of manager destruction. Watch as she stuffs a chair down the throat of a manager for his really stupid ideas.
/Clip
Manager: "But Rachel, don't you think that we could eliminate that 450g
worth of data and save a lot of money in training, dba costs and license
fees if we converted everything to Excel Spreadsheets? Why are you looking
at me like that? No, now put down that chair that could be an OHSA
recordable. Open Wide? Oh, you silly. I've already had brunch with the
steering committee. That's where this excellent excel idea came from. We
can do this right? I figure 450 g isn't that much is it? All we have to
do is get some PC's and a couple secretaries and... No, back away.
Noooooooo." Stuff, cram, cram.
/Clip
Eric Pierce as Master Po giver of infinite knowledge.
/Clip
"Grasshopper. You will find all you need at these links."
/Clip
Director Jared Still, in a special appearance. He dispatches another
developer for bad locking practices:
/Clip
"Six table locks? For a three table select? I asked for code and you
bring me this. What have I done to deserve this disrespect. To the acid
baths with him..."
/Clip
Christopher Bowes as the thoroughly confused rookie:
/Clip:
"HELP!... Am I an idiot? Well, no I don't think so. What's an idiot?
RTFM? What's an RTFM? Read the what? What's a concepts manual. What's a
concept? That's nice, but what is a database? I've got to build one for
my boss today. I told him I would and my performance review is at 3pm...
Is 15 minutes enough time to build a 40 terabyte base? But I thought DBA's
did nothing but get in the way of us developers... What's a tablespace?
What's a table"
/Clip
Other special appearances by Steve Adams, Christopher Spence, Joe Testa and lots of others from the Oracle-L. See them all as you've never seen them before.
See Oracle-L, the UNCUT version. Coming this fall.
Sorry, folks, slow day...
-- Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com -- Author: INET: tday6_at_csc.com Fat City Network Services -- (858) 538-5051 FAX: (858) 538-5051 San Diego, California -- Public Internet access / Mailing Lists -------------------------------------------------------------------- To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message to: ListGuru_at_fatcity.com (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). You may also send the HELP command for other information (like subscribing). -- Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com -- Author: Mohan, Ross INET: MohanR_at_STARS-SMI.com Fat City Network Services -- (858) 538-5051 FAX: (858) 538-5051 San Diego, California -- Public Internet access / Mailing Lists -------------------------------------------------------------------- To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message to: ListGuru_at_fatcity.com (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). You may also send the HELP command for other information (like subscribing).Received on Tue Aug 14 2001 - 10:35:01 CDT