RE: OT -- marketing (was Windows vs. UNIX)

From: Mohan, Ross <MohanR_at_STARS-SMI.com>
Date: Tue, 01 May 2001 14:38:02 -0700
Message-ID: <F001.002F6D45.20010501143611@fatcity.com>

God, how I love
this list.
<BLOCKQUOTE dir=ltr
style="PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"> -----Original Message-----From: Kirsh, Gary [mailto:gary.kirsh_at_gs.com]Sent: Tuesday, May 01, 2001 6:10 PMTo: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-LSubject: RE: OT -- marketing (was Windows vs. UNIX) Ross,
 
 Here's your prose after I ran it through the Oraclizer:
 
 "Robust cross-optimized, scalable dung filters seamlessly harmonize online B2B and B2C interactions, requiring deep instinct-based best-of-breed CRM, BPE, SOL, and DOA products with a cutting edge, ass-centric, butt-licking, customer driven coherence." 
 This
 now scores a jargon 6. A little more practice, and you too can get a job at Oracle!
 
 Gary
 
 Gary
 Kirsh
 Next
 Extent, Inc.

-----Original Message-----From: Mohan, Ross [mailto:MohanR_at_STARS-SMI.com]Sent: Tuesday, May 01, 2001 5:11 PMTo: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-LSubject: RE: OT -- marketing (was Windows vs. UNIX) Cute website, but sadly, it deemed my submission (below) to be level 1 - the best possible prose. Uh huh.
 "Cross-optimized dung filters harmonize online interactions requiring deep instinct-based CRM, BPE, SOL, and DOA products with a ass-centric, butt-licking coherence."
|| -----Original Message----- ||

 From: Kirsh, Gary [<A
 href="mailto:gary.kirsh_at_gs.com">mailto:gary.kirsh_at_gs.com]
|| Sent: Tuesday, May 01, 2001 4:20 PM <FONT

    size=2>|| To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L <FONT 
    size=2>|| Subject: RE: OT -- marketing (was Windows vs. UNIX)

|| || ||

 Eric, || || Judging from
 their recent press releases, I'd say it does || NOT apply to their || marketing information. Check for yourself, trying running || some of their
|| finest marketing prose through the Jargonator at
|| <A target=_blank

 href="http://www.jargonfreeweb.com">http://www.jargonfreeweb.com. I just tried the press release titled || "Mykrolis Takes Oracle Straight to the Bottom Line", and it || scored a 6 - || "Put it in the bottom of your bird cage and start over", the || highest (or
|| lowest, depending on how you look at it) jargon
 score. || || To be fair,
 I've found Larry to be pretty good in this || regard, but as you || start moving down from the top of the Oracle management || pyramid, the jargon || really starts to snowball, to the point where I've seen (and || worked for) || some low-level managers who speak completely in meaningless,
|| buzzword-laden || techno

 babble. My theory is that the quantity of technical || jargon used is || inversely proportional to the speakers actual understanding of the || technology. || ||
 Gary || || Gary Kirsh
|| Next Extent, Inc ||
|| -----Original Message----- <FONT
 size=2>|| Sent: Tuesday, May 01, 2001 3:40 PM || To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L ||
|| || Does that apply to

 Oracle's complex, frequently nearly inpenetrable || ever changing jargon related to product line/descriptions and
|| marketing/pricing information, or "just" the
 technology? :) || || As far as the general topic of marketing effectiveness and/or
|| failure, there used to be some sort of marketing
 industry award that || was given out to giant corporations that spent vast sums on || marketing
|| consultants and ad campaigns that are huge flops.
 It is not unusual || at all. Of course it is essentially a virtual reality industry, so || you can imagine the difficulty of trying to q/a that stuff.
|| || My guess is that one

 of the justifications for big IT corps to spend || vast sums on mass "public image" ads is to intimidate competition by
|| creating the appearance of "normalcy" (about the
 corporation || doing th ||
 advertising) in public opinion. ||
|| In other words, when I see a TV ad for PacBell
 "data operations" || I know that it is probably even more of a huge pile of cr*p than the || average corporate ad, and somehow suspect it is related to || Worldcom's || ads, and some attempt to create a "perception" that PacBell is able || (is is soon going to be able) to effectively compete with || Worldcom in || data services.
|| || etc. <FONT

    size=2>|| || regards, || 
    ep || || <FONT 
    size=2>|| On 1 May 2001, at 9:37, Kirsh, Gary wrote: <FONT 
    size=2>|| || Date

sent: Tue, 01 May
 2001 09:37:06 -0800 ||
 To:
 Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
|| <ORACLE-L_at_fatcity.com> ||
|| > To hear Larry's take on IBM and their new
 ads, go to || oracle.com and click || on || > this news story:
|| > || > "Oracle declares

 war on complexity. Watch the webcast of || Larry Ellison's || > interview with Salomon Smith Barney and press conference." || || ... || ||
|| -- || Please see the

 official ORACLE-L FAQ: <A target=_blank href="http://www.orafaq.com">http://www.orafaq.com || -- || Author: Eric D. Pierce || INET: PierceED_at_csus.edu || || Fat City Network
 Services -- (858) 538-5051 FAX: (858) 538-5051 || San Diego,
 California -- Public Internet access / || Mailing Lists ||

|| To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an
 E-Mail message || to: ListGuru_at_fatcity.com (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in || the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L || (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). You may || also send the HELP command for other information (like subscribing). || --
|| Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: <A
 target=_blank href="http://www.orafaq.com">http://www.orafaq.com
|| -- || Author: Kirsh, Gary

 || INET: gary.kirsh_at_gs.com || || Fat City Network
 Services -- (858) 538-5051 FAX: (858) 538-5051 || San Diego,
 California -- Public Internet access / || Mailing Lists ||