RE: OT -- marketing (was Windows vs. UNIX)

From: Kirsh, Gary <gary.kirsh_at_gs.com>
Date: Tue, 01 May 2001 14:12:34 -0700
Message-ID: <F001.002F6D05.20010501141026@fatcity.com>

Ross,

Here's
your prose after I ran it through the Oraclizer: 
"Robust cross-optimized, scalable dung filters seamlessly harmonize online B2B and B2C interactions, requiring deep instinct-based best-of-breed CRM, BPE, SOL, and DOA products with a cutting edge, ass-centric, butt-licking, customer driven coherence."

This
now scores a jargon 6. A little more practice, and you too can get a job at Oracle!

Gary

Gary
Kirsh
Next
Extent, Inc.

-----Original Message-----From: Mohan, Ross [mailto:MohanR_at_STARS-SMI.com]Sent: Tuesday, May 01, 2001 5:11 PMTo: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-LSubject: RE: OT -- marketing (was Windows vs. UNIX) Cute website, but sadly, it deemed my submission (below) to be level 1 - the best possible prose.
 Uh huh.
 "Cross-optimized dung filters harmonize online interactions requiring deep instinct-based CRM, BPE, SOL, and DOA products with a ass-centric, butt-licking coherence."
|| -----Original Message----- || From:
 Kirsh, Gary [<A
 href="mailto:gary.kirsh_at_gs.com">mailto:gary.kirsh_at_gs.com] || Sent: Tuesday, May 01, 2001 4:20 PM || To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L || Subject: RE: OT -- marketing (was Windows vs. UNIX) ||
|| || Eric, <FONT

 size=2>|| || Judging from their recent press releases, I'd say it does || NOT apply to their || marketing information. Check for yourself, trying running
|| some of their || finest

 marketing prose through the Jargonator at || <A target=_blank
 href="http://www.jargonfreeweb.com">http://www.jargonfreeweb.com. I just tried the press release titled || "Mykrolis Takes Oracle Straight to the Bottom Line", and it || scored a 6 - || "Put it in the bottom of your bird cage and start over", the || highest (or || lowest, depending on how you look at it) jargon score.
|| || To be fair, I've found Larry to
 be pretty good in this || regard, but as you
|| start moving down from the top of the Oracle management
|| pyramid, the jargon ||

 really starts to snowball, to the point where I've seen (and || worked for) || some low-level managers who speak completely in meaningless, ||
 buzzword-laden || techno babble. My theory is that the quantity of technical || jargon used is || inversely proportional to the speakers actual understanding of the || technology. || || Gary ||
|| Gary Kirsh || Next Extent,

 Inc || || -----Original
 Message----- || Sent: Tuesday, May 01, 2001 3:40 PM || To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
|| || || Does

 that apply to Oracle's complex, frequently nearly inpenetrable
|| ever changing jargon related to product
 line/descriptions and || marketing/pricing information, or "just" the technology? :) || || As far as the general topic of marketing effectiveness and/or || failure, there used to be some sort of marketing industry award that || was given out to giant corporations that spent vast sums on || marketing || consultants and ad campaigns that are huge flops. It is not unusual || at all. Of course it is essentially a virtual reality industry, so || you can imagine the difficulty of trying to q/a that stuff. || || My guess is that one of the justifications for big IT corps to spend || vast sums on mass "public image" ads is to intimidate competition by || creating the appearance of "normalcy" (about the corporation
|| doing th || advertising) in

 public opinion. || || In
 other words, when I see a TV ad for PacBell "data operations" || I know that it is probably even more of a huge pile of cr*p than the
|| average corporate ad, and somehow suspect it is
 related to || Worldcom's ||
 ads, and some attempt to create a "perception" that PacBell is able
|| (is is soon going to be able) to effectively
 compete with || Worldcom in ||
 data services. || ||
 etc. || || regards,
|| ep || ||
|| On 1 May 2001, at 9:37, Kirsh, Gary wrote:
|| || Date

 sent: Tue, 01 May 2001
 09:37:06 -0800 ||
 To:
 Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L || <ORACLE-L_at_fatcity.com> ||
|| > To hear Larry's take on IBM and their new ads,

  go to || oracle.com and click <FONT 
  size=2>|| on || > this news story: <FONT 
  size=2>|| > || > "Oracle declares war on

complexity. Watch the webcast of || Larry Ellison's || > interview with Salomon Smith Barney and press conference." || ||
 ... || || || -- || Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
|| -- || Author: Eric D.

 Pierce || INET: PierceED_at_csus.edu
|| || Fat City Network

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  href="http://www.orafaq.com">http://www.orafaq.com <FONT 
  size=2>|| -- || Author: Kirsh, Gary <FONT 
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subscribing). || Received on Tue May 01 2001 - 16:12:34 CDT