Steve Howard wrote:
> Hi,
>
> My Oracle database won't start. How can I fix it?
>
> Sorry, this just cracked me up, and I figured I would provide oxygen
> for the constantly smoldering flames.
>
> It did cause me to think, though, I know there are several regular
> posters here who have seen some questions they would consider to be
> beyond ridiculous, so I thought I would put it out there...
>
> What is the laziest, least informative question you have ever seen?
Two conversations I will never forget
- On Support, it's Friday afternoon, and the phones have been hot all
day. At around 4:45 pm, a guy calls asking if he has to install the 2
Meg memory extender (sqlpme) we used to use with Oracle6 on Dos. Told
him Yes. 5 minutes later, he calls back and asks how to set it up so it
starts on boot up. Told him how to put it in his bat file. 5 minutes
later, and he calls back wanting to know what to set his machine_type
to. Told him J, and then at this stage, told him we were getting close
to closing time, and asked him if he had the install guide in front of
him, as this was all clearly documented, and I would spend 5 minutes or
so working with him now to get him ahead of himself in the book. His
reply was that it was raining, he was in the computer room, the doc was
in the office next door, and he didn't want to get wet walking over to
get it. Much easier in his opininion to ring Support, and please could
he have extended Support over the weekend ? (And, believe it or not,
the answer was Yes, AND we decided not to charge for it)
- Just finished presenting on 8i new features to a large room of
customers in Mumbai. At the end of the presentation, standing at the
front of the room, working through the queue of people who came up with
questions. Last one of the day was two ernest gentleman from "the
largest bank in India, your biggest customer", who explained that while
they were very, very impressed with the 8i new features, they had a
company policy to stay on 7.3.4 for at least another year, so please,
could we backport ALL the new features to 7.3.4 for them. Do you think I
could explain to them that we could, but that it wouldn't be 7.3.4 ?
Received on Fri Oct 15 2004 - 09:54:29 CDT
