hm, now this might be good for a presentation when you come out in
December... want to do this as the keynote? <EG>
- Tim Gorman <Tim_at_SageLogix.com> wrote:
> > It's backup day today so I'm pissed off. Being the BDBAFH,
> however, does
> > have it's advantages. I reassign null to be the tape device - it's
> so much
> > more economical on my time as I don't have to keep getting up to
> change
> > tapes every 5 minutes. And it speeds up RMAN too, so it can't be
> all bad
> > can it? Of course not.
> >
> > A user rings ...
>
> The phone rings. It'll be him again, I know. That annoys me. I put on
> a
> gruff voice:
>
> "Payroll!"
>
> "Oh, I'm sorry, I've got the wrong number"
>
> "Yeah? Well, what's your name, buddy? Do you know *WASTED* phone
> calls
> cost money? DO YOU? I've got a good mind to subtract your wasted
> time, my
> wasted time, and the cost of this call from your wages! IN FACT I
> WILL! By
> the time I've finished with you, you'll owe US money! WHAT'S YOUR
> NAME -
> AND DON'T LIE, I'VE GOT CALLER ID!!"
>
> I hear the phone drop and the sound of running feet - he's obviously
> going
> to try and get an alibi by being at the IT Director's office. I look
> up his
> username and find his department. I ring the department's executive
> assistant.
>
> "Hello?" she answers.
>
> "BDBAFH here. Listen, when that guy comes running into your office
> in about
> 15 seconds, can you give him a message?"
>
> "I think so..." she quavers...
>
> "Please tell him, `HE CAN RUN, BUT HE CAN'T HIDE!'"
>
> "Um. OK. Like, sure..."
>
> "And, don't forget now, please? I wouldn't want everyone to find out
> about
> that table in your account with all of your passwords for in-house
> apps and
> credit card numbers for ecommerce sites in it..."
>
> A muffled cry and I hear her scrambling at her keyboard.
>
> "Don't bother. It's been backed up a zillion times; piece of cake to
> restore it. Just pass the message on like a love?" Over the phone,
> I
> can hear the distant sound of pounding feet growing louder in the
> background...
>
> She sobs her assent and I hang up. And the worst thing is, I was
> just
> guessing about the table. I look for it, find it, and bring it up in
> TOAD;
> maybe I can do some shopping online tonight...
>
> The phone rings. Another user. Still pissed off, I pick it up...
>
>
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 4:34 PM
> > To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
> >
> >
> > That sounds about right! You can get back to your boss
> > with a little sleep deprivation tactics. Beep him hourly
> > with the progress report and he'll trust you much more
> > the next time. You can even beep you bosses boss and tell
> > him that your boss told you to beep him hourly with a progress
> > report. That should read something like : "applied archive
> sequences
> > 789001 to 789567, 3456 more to go". That might result in some
> > interesting career opportunities. One of these days I have to
> > start my very own BDBAFH site.
> >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: Inka Bezdziecka [mailto:IBezdziecka_at_cupe.ca]
> > > Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 4:14 PM
> > > To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
> > > Subject: RE: DBA work load
> > >
> > >
> > > It is your own fault. You should have called all interested
> > > parties with details as soon as that problem was resolved.
> > > And remember: if by any chance the problem resolution takes
> > > all night, call hourly with the progress report.
> > >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 1:04 PM
> > > To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
> > >
> > >
> > > Yes, of course. If, like last night, I needed to dial in
> > > from home for 2
> > > hours then I get compensated by coming in early the next day to
> answer
> > > questions about what happened.
> > >
> > >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > Sent: Tuesday, September 24, 2002 11:08 AM
> > > To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
> > >
> > > Obviously, not all of those 168 hours are equally intense,
> requiring a
> > > conscious person to be available on-call (you *do* get
> > > compensated for being
> > > on-call during off-hours, don't you?).
> > > --
> > > Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
> > > --
> > > Author: Miller, Jay
> > > INET: JayMiller_at_TDWaterhouse.com
> > >
> > > Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051
> http://www.fatcity.com
> > > San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting
> services
> > >
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > > To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message
> > > to: ListGuru_at_fatcity.com (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and
> in
> > > the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L
> > > (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). You
> may
> > > also send the HELP command for other information (like
> subscribing).
> > > --
> > > Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
> > > --
> > > Author: Inka Bezdziecka
> > > INET: IBezdziecka_at_cupe.ca
> > >
> > > Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051
> http://www.fatcity.com
> > > San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting
> services
> > >
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > > To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message
> > > to: ListGuru_at_fatcity.com (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and
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> > >
> > --
> > Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
> > --
> > Author: Gogala, Mladen
> > INET: MGogala_at_oxhp.com
> >
> > Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 http://www.fatcity.com
> > San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting
> services
> >
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message
> > to: ListGuru_at_fatcity.com (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in
> > the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L
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> > --
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> > --
> > Author: STEVE OLLIG
> > INET: sollig_at_lifetouch.com
> >
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> > San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting
> services
> >
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message
> > to: ListGuru_at_fatcity.com (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in
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>
>
> --
>
=== message truncated ===
Do you Yahoo!?
New DSL Internet Access from SBC & Yahoo!
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--
Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
--
Author: Rachel Carmichael
INET: wisernet100_at_yahoo.com
Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 http://www.fatcity.com
San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting services
---------------------------------------------------------------------
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Received on Thu Sep 26 2002 - 06:03:24 CDT