Re: DBA work load - BDBAFH #1

> It's backup day today so I'm pissed off. Being the BDBAFH, however, does
> have it's advantages. I reassign null to be the tape device - it's so much
> more economical on my time as I don't have to keep getting up to change
> tapes every 5 minutes. And it speeds up RMAN too, so it can't be all bad
> can it? Of course not.
>
> A user rings ...

The phone rings. It'll be him again, I know. That annoys me. I put on a gruff voice:

"Payroll!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I've got the wrong number"

"Yeah? Well, what's your name, buddy? Do you know *WASTED* phone calls cost money? DO YOU? I've got a good mind to subtract your wasted time, my wasted time, and the cost of this call from your wages! IN FACT I WILL! By the time I've finished with you, you'll owe US money! WHAT'S YOUR NAME - AND DON'T LIE, I'VE GOT CALLER ID!!" I hear the phone drop and the sound of running feet - he's obviously going to try and get an alibi by being at the IT Director's office. I look up his username and find his department. I ring the department's executive assistant.

"Hello?" she answers.

"BDBAFH here. Listen, when that guy comes running into your office in about 15 seconds, can you give him a message?"

"I think so..." she quavers...

"Please tell him, `HE CAN RUN, BUT HE CAN'T HIDE!'"

"Um. OK. Like, sure..."

"And, don't forget now, please? I wouldn't want everyone to find out about that table in your account with all of your passwords for in-house apps and credit card numbers for ecommerce sites in it..."

A muffled cry and I hear her scrambling at her keyboard.

"Don't bother. It's been backed up a zillion times; piece of cake to restore it. Just pass the message on like a love?" Over the phone, I can hear the distant sound of pounding feet growing louder in the background...

She sobs her assent and I hang up. And the worst thing is, I was just guessing about the table. I look for it, find it, and bring it up in TOAD; maybe I can do some shopping online tonight...

The phone rings. Another user. Still pissed off, I pick it up...

>
> -----Original Message-----
> Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 4:34 PM
> To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
>
>
> That sounds about right! You can get back to your boss
> with a little sleep deprivation tactics. Beep him hourly
> with the progress report and he'll trust you much more
> the next time. You can even beep you bosses boss and tell
> him that your boss told you to beep him hourly with a progress
> report. That should read something like : "applied archive sequences
> 789001 to 789567, 3456 more to go". That might result in some
> interesting career opportunities. One of these days I have to
> start my very own BDBAFH site.
>
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Inka Bezdziecka [mailto:IBezdziecka_at_cupe.ca]
> > Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 4:14 PM
> > To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
> > Subject: RE: DBA work load
> >
> >
> > It is your own fault. You should have called all interested
> > parties with details as soon as that problem was resolved.
> > And remember: if by any chance the problem resolution takes
> > all night, call hourly with the progress report.
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 1:04 PM
> > To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
> >
> >
> > Yes, of course. If, like last night, I needed to dial in
> > from home for 2
> > hours then I get compensated by coming in early the next day to answer
> > questions about what happened.
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > Sent: Tuesday, September 24, 2002 11:08 AM
> > To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
> >
> > Obviously, not all of those 168 hours are equally intense, requiring a
> > conscious person to be available on-call (you *do* get
> > compensated for being
> > on-call during off-hours, don't you?).
> > --
> > Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
> > --
> > Author: Miller, Jay
> > INET: JayMiller_at_TDWaterhouse.com
> >
> > Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 http://www.fatcity.com
> > San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting services
> > ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message
> > to: ListGuru_at_fatcity.com (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in
> > the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L
> > (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). You may
> > also send the HELP command for other information (like subscribing).
> > --
> > Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
> > --
> > Author: Inka Bezdziecka
> > INET: IBezdziecka_at_cupe.ca
> >
> > Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 http://www.fatcity.com
> > San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting services
> > ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message
> > to: ListGuru_at_fatcity.com (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in
> > the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L
> > (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). You may
> > also send the HELP command for other information (like subscribing).
> >
> --
> Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
> --
> Author: Gogala, Mladen
> INET: MGogala_at_oxhp.com
>
> Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 http://www.fatcity.com
> San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting services
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message
> to: ListGuru_at_fatcity.com (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in
> the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L
> (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). You may
> also send the HELP command for other information (like subscribing).
> --
> Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
> --
> Author: STEVE OLLIG
> INET: sollig_at_lifetouch.com
>
> Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 http://www.fatcity.com
> San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting services
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message
> to: ListGuru_at_fatcity.com (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in
> the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L
> (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). You may
> also send the HELP command for other information (like subscribing).

-- 
Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
-- 
Author: Tim Gorman
  INET: Tim_at_SageLogix.com

Fat City Network Services    -- 858-538-5051 http://www.fatcity.com
San Diego, California        -- Mailing list and web hosting services
---------------------------------------------------------------------
To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message
to: ListGuru_at_fatcity.com (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in
the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L
(or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from).  You may
also send the HELP command for other information (like subscribing).