RE: (OT) RE: Look's like Larry's at it again...

Bummer! I've already started to hope that I'll soon be living in Connecticut ver 10i. Even Red Sox defeats would hurt less in the Oracleland.

Mladen Gogala
Oracle DBA
Phone:(203) 459-6855
Email:[EMAIL PROTECTED]

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Friday, June 20, 2003 3:30 PM
To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L

I hate to be a spoilsport, but some people unfamiliar with the USA might be taking this seriously. This is, of course, a humorous piece, in the same vein as the joke about Microsoft purchasing the Catholic Church http://www.spunk.org/library/humour/sp001526.html

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Jesse, Rich [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> Oracle Makes Bid to Buy State of Delaware
>
>
> Software giant willing to assume state's $225 million deficit
> in exchange
> for
> legislative control, naming rights
>
> Wilmington, DE - Oracle CEO Larry Ellison today announced his
> intention to
> purchase the state of Delaware for $300 million in cash and
> Oracle stock.
> The
> move comes on the heels of Oracle's bid for rival software
> firm PeopleSoft,
> and is the first time that an offer has been made to buy a
> U.S. territory.
>
> Delaware governor Ruth Ann Minner responded to the bid with
> shock and seemed
> certain that the hostile takeover could be avoided.
>
> "Oracle's bid comes as a big surprise to the government and people of
> Delaware", said Minner at a press conference. "At this point, we are
> checking
> into whether or not a company, such as Oracle, can buy a
> state, and whether
> or
> not Delaware is actually for sale."
>
> Oracle's announcement sent shockwaves through the political
> and economic
> landscape. Oracle shares dropped 8% immediately following
> the announcement,
> only to rebound and break even for the day, with heavy volume
> being traded.
> Meanwhile, government officials in Washington scrambled to
> look into the
> legality of such a purchase, and who actually currently owns Delaware.
>
> In an afternoon press conference, Ellison seemed certain that
> Oracle would
> own
> Delaware in the near future.
>
> "The fact is that the state of Delaware is in a budget crisis
> that it can
> not
> resolve. Oracle's bid will immediately pump $300 million into
> the state
> budget, and (Oracle) will also be assuming all current
> Delaware debt. Call
> this a 'hostile takeover' if you must, but the people of this
> great state
> deserve a better future, and I will be able to give them just that."
>
> President Bush, who was giving a speech to coal miners in
> Kentucky, called
> the
> Oracle bid "interesting" and added that "49 states would be
> easier for me to
> handle than 50".
>
> Ellison rival Tom Siebel called the move "typical", and added
> "Larry thinks
> he
> can take over the world, and I guess he thinks this is a good place to
> start.
> I personally would have targeted Vermont."
>
> Ellison defended his decision, citing fourteen state parks, a
> minor league
> baseball franchise, an annual Nascar race in Dover, and the
> annual Great
> Delaware Kite Festival as reasons that Delaware is primed for
> success.
>
> "Delaware is a state rich in tradition and excitement. None
> of the existing
> festivals or events will be changed. I mean, who doesn't love
> minor league
> baseball and kites?"
>
> If the takeover bid is successful, Ellison plans to place
> several Oracle
> executives in key state government positions, and is
> considering re-naming
> the
> state either New Ellison or OracleLand.
>
>
> [Couldn't resist, Jared! Hope it's not too OT!]

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