Oracle-L: RE: DBA work load

From: Robson, Peter <pgro_at_bgs.ac.uk>
Date: Tue, 01 Oct 2002 07:43:27 -0800
Message-ID: <F001.004DD578.20021001074327@fatcity.com>

Nah - I go for the subtle approach -

'YES?' - very, VERY loudly! And looking them dead straight in the eye... (You should see 'em jump!)

peter
edinbugh

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Connor McDonald [mailto:hamcdc_at_yahoo.co.uk]
> Sent: 01 October 2002 15:38
> To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
> Subject: RE: DBA work load - BDBAFH #1
>
>
> My favourite when they come to your desk...
>
> "Ah, I see the f..k up fairy has come to visit"
>
> (Apologies for profanity)
>
> :-)
>
> --- Rachel Carmichael <wisernet100_at_yahoo.com> wrote:
> > Paula,
> >
> > It just takes practice. You can learn to say no. I
> > did. You just have
> > to work up to it :)
> >
> > You start with:
> >
> > "If I do that for you now, I will fall behind x days
> > on the critical
> > project I am working on for you"
> >
> > move on to:
> >
> > "I'm sorry. I have too much to do"
> >
> > then to:
> >
> > "not gonna happen"
> >
> > and finally, either of the following:
> >
> > "what part of the word NO don't you understand?"
> >
> > or (my personal favorite)
> >
> > "failure to plan on your part does not constitute an
> > emergency on mine"
> >
> >
> > Try it, you'll like it
> >
> >
> >
> > --- Paula_Stankus_at_doh.state.fl.us wrote:
> > > Hmmmm. How come I always seem to be the DBA who
> > can't say no - you
> > > don't
> > > seem to have that problem at all.
> > >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > Sent: Monday, September 30, 2002 3:58 PM
> > > To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > The phone rings. Another user. Still pissed off,
> > I pick it up...
> > >
> > > "Database Administration, can I help you?" I
> > answer professionally.
> > >
> > > Troubled silence on the phone. Politeness is a
> > very bad signal from
> > > me and
> > > they know it. He was rattled.
> > >
> > > "Uh, hi, this is Joe, technical lead on that
> > super-critical project
> > > for
> > > Benefits? Is this a good time? I have some stuff
> > I need moved to
> > > production?"
> > >
> > > The last was a statement, but it came out like a
> > question. With a
> > > slight
> > > quaver in the voice, too. Excellent. Technical
> > lead my arse.
> > >
> > > "Could you be more specific so I can schedule you
> > appropriately?"
> > >
> > > He hesitated. Gosh, I sounded for real. I almost
> > convinced myself.
> > > The
> > > victim approached warily.
> > >
> > > "I've got a bunch of PL/SQL packages and some
> > outlines to speed up
> > > the
> > > queries with special hints. The scripts are all
> > ready for your
> > > review, they
> > > include the create statements, the grants,
> > everything. I'm
> > > forwarding the
> > > email package to you with signoffs from IT, the
> > user department, and
> > > your
> > > own from reviewing our design and test results".
> > This last was
> > > delivered
> > > with almost pathetic eagerness. Good boy. Good,
> > simple, foolish
> > > boy.
> > >
> > > If he could see me he'd be terrified by my grin.
> > "Joe, I need you to
> > > help
> > > me out. You've just given me 10 minutes of work,
> > but I'm due for
> > > lunch in 5
> > > minutes. What do you suggest I do?"
> > >
> > > Joe knew better, he really did. But his team had
> > been up all night
> > > finishing and the prize was so close...
> > >
> > > "Look, I really hate to impose. But we've missed
> > several major
> > > deadlines,
> > > and department head has made it clear if we screw
> > up again he'll
> > > outsource
> > > the whole project and have us laid off. I need it
> > now so we can make
> > > sure
> > > everything's perfect for the big production run at
> > COB today".
> > >
> > > "Consider it done," I promised cheerfully and
> > hung up. I surprised
> > > him,
> > > and maybe myself, with my good spirits.
> > Especially since I was more
> > > than 5
> > > minutes late, closer to fifteen, and my buddies
> > were already into
> > > their
> > > second beer when I joined them for lunch. But the
> > extra 10 minutes
> > > had been
> > > well worth it considering what I managed to do to
> > those hints with
> > > the
> > > outline editor. Just the same, though, I turned
> > off my cell phone in
> > > case
> > > the twit called to find out why his 5-second
> > queries took almost an
> > > hour.
> > > Can't have him taking me for granted, can I?
> > >
> > > Later that evening, after quaffing several (all
> > right, numerous) more
> > > ales
> > > with the boys, I dialed in from home to check how
> > things were going.
> > > Mr.
> > > Tech Lead was still logged in, no doubt
> > desperately trying to
> > > determine why
> > > things were taking forever. Poor Mr. Tech Lead,
> > another sleepless
> > > night. I
> > > logged off, turned out the light, and slept like a
> > baby.
> > >
> > > Next morning, hangover. The phone rings. I
> > snatch it up angrily...
> > > --
> > > Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ:
> > http://www.orafaq.com
> > > --
> > > Author: Conboy, Jim
> > > INET: Jim.Conboy_at_trw.com
> > >
> > > Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051
> > http://www.fatcity.com
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> > >
> >
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> > Author: Rachel Carmichael
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> >
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> =====
> Connor McDonald
> http://www.oracledba.co.uk
> http://www.oaktable.net
>
> "Remember amateurs built the ark - Professionals built the Titanic"
>
> __________________________________________________
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> Author: =?iso-8859-1?q?Connor=20McDonald?=
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>
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-- 
Author: Robson, Peter
  INET: pgro_at_bgs.ac.uk

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Received on Tue Oct 01 2002 - 10:43:27 CDT