RE: FOOT-AND-MOUTH

Yea, it sure spreads more viruses than ORACLE's EMAIL SOLUTION. ahem, well...what i meant to say was.....

Criminy, Oracle can't even run a 1500 user support site for it's paying freaking customers.

Oracle support is as well-thought out as asking Ed Hazelton to captain the Ehime Maru.

Ross

p.s. Oxymorons for the day:

"Military Intelligence"
"Jumbo Shrimp"
"Oracle Support"

||-----Original Message-----
||From: dgoulet_at_vicr.com [mailto:dgoulet_at_vicr.com]
||Sent: Tuesday, April 03, 2001 2:51 PM
||To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
||Subject: FOOT-AND-MOUTH
||
||
||For all of you MicroSoft supporters out there!
||
||Sorry Jared!
||
||Dick Goulet
||
||____________________Forward Header_____________________
||
||FOOT-AND-MOUTH BELIEVED TO BE FIRST VIRUS UNABLE TO SPREAD THROUGH
||MICROSOFT OUTLOOK
||
||Researchers Shocked to Finally Find Virus That Email App Doesn't Like
||
||Atlanta, Ga. (GPS) Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and
||Symantec's AntiVirus Research Center today confirmed that
||foot-and-mouth
||disease cannot be spread by Microsoft's Outlook email application,
||believed to be the first time the program has ever failed to propagate
||a major virus.
||
||"Frankly, we've never heard of a virus that couldn't spread through
||Microsoft Outlook, so our findings were, to say the least,
||unexpected,"
||said Clive Sarnow, director of the CDC's infectious disease unit.
||
||The study was immediately hailed by British officials, who
||said it will
||save millions of pounds and thousands of man hours.  "Up until now we
||have, quite naturally, assumed that both foot-and-mouth and
||mad cow were
||spread by Microsoft Outlook," said Nick Brown, Britain's Agriculture
||Minister. "By eliminating it, we can focus our resources elsewhere."
||
||However, researchers in the Netherlands, where foot-and-mouth has
||recently appeared, said they are not yet prepared to
||disqualify Outlook,
||which has been the progenitor of viruses such as "I Love You,"
||"Bubbleboy," "Anna Kournikova," and "Naked Wife," to name but a few.
||
||Said Nils Overmars, director of the Molecular Virology Lab at Leiden
||University, "It's not that we don't trust the research, it's
||just that
||as scientists, we are trained to be skeptical of any finding
||that flies
||in the face of established truth.  And this one flies in the face
||like a blind drunk sparrow."
||
||Executives at Microsoft, meanwhile, were equally skeptical, insisting
||that Outlook's patented Virus Transfer Protocol (VTP) has proven
||virtually pervious to any virus.  The company, however, will issue a
||free VTP patch if it turns out the application is not vulnerable to
||foot-and-mouth.
||
||Such an admission would be embarrassing for the software giant, but
||Symantec virologist Ariel Kologne insisted that no one is more
||humiliated by the study than she is.  "Only last week, I had
||a reporter
||ask if the foot-and-mouth virus spreads through Microsoft
||Outlook, and I
||told him, 'Doesn't everything?'" she recalled. "Who would've thought?"
||
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||  INET: dgoulet_at_vicr.com
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Received on Tue Apr 03 2001 - 13:30:39 CDT