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Home -> Community -> Mailing Lists -> Oracle-L -> OT: Life in New England
Since a bunch of us in the Northeast had a real review of our recovery plans yesterday, like we actually had to follow them, I thought that the following might provide a little comic relief for the remainder of the week.
Dick Goulet
BTW: I live in New Hampshire!
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Ah... life in NH
Dear Diary: Aug. 1
Moved to our new home in New Hampshire. It is so beautiful here. The
country is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered with snow.
I LOVE IT HERE.
OCT. 14
New Hampshire is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning
all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange. Went for a
ride through the hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they
are the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I
LOVE IT HERE.
NOV. 11
Dear season will open soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such
an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquillity. Hope it will
snow soon. I LOVE IT HERE.
DEC. 2
It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It
looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned snow off the steps and
shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight today (I won). When the
snowplow came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful
place. Mother Nature in perfect harmony. I LOVE IT HERE.
DEC. 12
More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again that
rascal. A winter wonderland. I LOVE IT HERE.
DEC. 19
Snowed again last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work
on time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. F_at_cking snowplow!
DEC. 22
More of that white %$#^ fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands
from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits
until I'm done shoveling. That buthole!
DEC. 25
"White Christmas" my busted *&^. Mother F_at_cking snow. If I ever get my
hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplow. I swear I will
castrate the dumb b_at_st@rd. Don't know why they don't use more salt on
this f_at_cking ice.
DEC. 28
More of the same ^%$# last night. Been inside since Christmas Day
except for when "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go anywhere. The car is
buried in a mountain of white. The weatherman says expect another
10 inches tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow
10 inches is?
Jan. 1
Happy F_at_cking New Year. The weatherman was wrong (again). We got
34 inches of snow this time. At this rate it won't melt until the 4th of July.
The snowplow got stuck down the road and sh^% for brains had the balls to come
to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. I told him I broke 6 shovels already,
shoveling out what he plowed into my driveway. I broke the 7th shovel over his
head.
Jan. 4
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on
the way back a deer ran out in front of the car and I hit it. Did about
$3,000.00 damage to the car. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.
May 3
Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you believe the body is
rotting away from all the salt they keep dumping all over the roads. It really
looks like a piece of sh&^.
May 10
Moved to Florida today. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would
want to live in the God forsaken State of New Hampshire.
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Author:
INET: dgoulet_at_vicr.com
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