IF MEN GOT PREGNANT

1. Maternity leave would last two years....with full pay.
2. There would be a cure for stretch marks.
3. Natural childbirth would become obsolete.
4. Morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem.
5. All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.
6. Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.
7. Men would be eager to talk about commitment.
8. They wouldn't think twins were so cute.
9. Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM.
10. Briefcases would be used as diaper bags.
11. Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.
12. They'd stay in bed during the entire pregnancy.
13. Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entries.
14. Women would rule the world. 

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
 
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a 
computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to
bring to your notice. 
 
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account 
and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, 
only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we 
typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. 
We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that 
there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the 
e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this 
as we ourselves do not know what the password is. 

2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down'
button. 

3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We 
request you to check this. 
 
4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 
'run' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to 
"sit", so that we can click that by sitting. 

5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I 
find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home. 
 
6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife
lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with 
this ' find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug?? 
 
7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' 
from CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat. 
 
8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 
'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my 
home to collect ur money. 
 
9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 
'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that? 
 
Best regards, 
 
Sardar

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
I HAS A VAR
GIMMEH VAR
IZ VAR BIGGER THAN 10?
	YARLY
		BTW this is true
		VISIBLE "BIG NUMBER!"
	NOWAI
		BTW this is false
		VISIBLE "LITTLE NUMBER!"
	KTHX
KTHXBYE

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
_PLZ OPEN FILE "LOLCATS.TXT"?
	AWSUM THX
		VISIBLE FILE
	O NOES
		INVISIBLE "ERROR!"
KTHXBYE