Re: Anyone care to add the SQL and PL/SQL chapters?

or

Oracle SQL

You tell Oracle to insert the bullet into the foot. Unfortunately the optimiser decides theres a better way to acheive the same result and inserts the bullet into your heart.

PL/SQL You discover that you cannot insert your bullet into your foot without first shelling out another $150k for the enterprise edition. After having done this you discover that your code runs under your bosses account and shoots him in the foot. You get fired.

C#

You wait 3 years for uncle bill to define the gun and bullet windows API only to discover that the foot object is only defined in a hidden extension to the system class. You give up and resort to C.

--
Niall Litchfield
Oracle DBA
Audit Commission UK

Legal disclaimer required by my employer
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"Lothar Armbruester" <lothar.armbruester_at_t-online.de> wrote in message
news:PM00038B59A06B8A12_at_hades.none.local...


> Nuno Souto wrote:

> > I dunno who invented this but I still get a laugh out of it after all

> > these years.  The two before last are my own modest contribution.

> > Anyone care to add the obvious SQL and/or PL/SQL section(s)?

> >

> [...]

>


> What about these ones:

>


> SQL: insert into foot select bullet from gun;

>      After it generates too much pain, you rollback.

>
>


> Oracle SQL: insert into foot select /*+ ORDERED */ bullet from gun:

>     This hint causes the bullets to hit in the right order ;-)

>
>


> PL/SQL:

>    begin

>       for bul_rec in (select bullet from gun) loop

>          utl_bullet.hit(bul_rec.bullet,foot);

>       end loop;

>    end;

>    /

>


>   Obvoiusly, utl_bullet requires a special Oracle release

>   (maybe 8b, "b" for "bullet" ;-)

>


> Lothar

>


> --

> Lothar Armbrüster       | la_at_oktagramm.de

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