Re: SLightly off topic: Poem of the Oracle DBA interviewee

Perhaps we've earned the right to be cynical.  I'm sure I'm not the only list'er who has spent a few too many late nights over a 20-year career cleaning up after messes made by self-proclaimed experts very similar to the fictional job candidate in the poem.  (Fortunately I can dodge the blame, as I eschew any position with hiring authority.) Then again, maybe I was just born cynical.  ;-)  Joe Cooper Senior Oracle DBA Department of Veterans Affairs Austin, TX aregularjoe8@yahoo.com ----- Original Message ---- From: "Joel.Patterson@crowley.com" <Joel.Patterson@crowley.com> To: robertgfreeman@yahoo.com; oracle-l@freelists.org Sent: Friday, August 15, 2008 8:09:10 AM Subject: RE: SLightly off topic: Poem of the Oracle DBA interviewee Are we cynical? Joel Patterson Database Administrator joel.patterson@crowley.com x72546 904  727-2546 -----Original Message----- From: oracle-l-bounce@freelists.org [mailto:oracle-l-bounce@freelists.org] On Behalf Of Robert Freeman Sent: Thursday, August 14, 2008 6:57 PM To: Oracle-L Freelists Subject: SLightly off topic: Poem of the Oracle DBA interviewee The poem of the Oracle DBA Interviewee.... Hello sir, how do you do? I'm an Oracle expert, Let me interview with you! Twenty years experience here. Oracle is the one, that my experience is near. Yes I'm an expert, don't you see. nobody can know databases, better than me! What is the SGA you inquired. his stumbling on the question, leaves you not terribly inspired. PGA? What is that you say? I do not know, mediocrity is really my way.. But I'm an expert, don't you see. nobody can know databases, better than me! Explain plan? Oh my! I think you fix, your SQL will fly. Hints, I'm really not so sure, I think they are going away, besides, they make SQL un-pure. But I'm an expert, don't you see. nobody can know databases, better than me! Normalized design, I've read it seems. when you have done so, the database always screams. What about backups you say? I Put the tapes in, I take them out - all day. But I'm an expert, don't you see. nobody can know databases, better than me! Have a slow database today? Hardware is cheaper than tuning, thats what I always say! Metalink? I'm too good to go that way. Tom Kyte, Jonathan Lewis who in tarnation are they? Sadly, I look at the DBA, man, so sad he is... As I commit his resume to the can. and in the distance I hear the words... But I'm an expert, don't you see. nobody can know databases, better than me! Robert G. Freeman Author: Oracle Database 11g New Features (Oracle Press) Portable DBA: Oracle  (Oracle Press) Oracle Database 10g New Features (Oracle Press) Oracle9i RMAN Backup and Recovery (Oracle Press) Oracle9i New Feature Blog: http://robertgfreeman.blogspot.com (Oracle Press) The LDS Church is looking for DBA's. You must be LDS to apply (please don't write to me and tell me I'm breaking the law. A church can choose to hire members of it's own faith. Look it up if you don't believe me). -- http://www.freelists.org/webpage/oracle-l -- http://www.freelists.org/webpage/oracle-l

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