Re: Getting more off topic --> RE: Work vs marriage

At 12:00 PM 6/1/00 -0800, you wrote:
>I would at least think you would refer to your wife as "my wife" not "the
>wife". The wife makes it sound like the house, the car,the dog...you get

And "my wife" gets you accused of considering her to be a possession (as someone already alluded to, and I was once accused of). I hope this doesn't turn into a vitriolic exchange, but my experience is that trying to adhere to "proper language" just turns into a mine field.

Sure, "my wife" can be thought of as being "relational" rather than "possessive", but "the wife" can also be thought of as referential rather than dismissive. Bottom line is, there will always be people who are ready to be offended, and will take what you say in the worst possible way. You end up having the choice of figuratively standing stock still, arms at your sides, scared to breath too loudly lest you offend someone; or saying (figuratively, and in a much nicer way) f**k it. You know what I meant. Get a life.

I know this comes out much more beligerant than I really intend. I'm not trying to start a fight (honest!). What I'm trying to say if that I (or you or someone else) is engaged in behaviour or language that we consider perfectly acceptable, and someone else comes along who is offended by it, that doesn't make me (or you, or someone else) automatically in the wrong.

Coincidentally, a great example of what I'm talking about is in the June issue of Windows Developer Journal (which I'm just now getting around to reading), where a reader writes in and threatens to never read the mag again because WDJ ran an ad which contained the phrase "I'll be damned". The WDJ editor was very polite and courteous, but the response was, in effect, "Gee that's too bad we don't live up to your standards. Don't let the door hit your butt on the way out."

Um, are we far enough off topic yet?

---
Dennis Taylor
---
The opinions expressed herein are mine. Get your own opinions!